Now most men seem to have an actual talent in getting lost. Mostly this is due to-‘’Me man, me no need map, me find own way’’. ‘’Me find own way’’ usually involves observing which way moss grows, refusing to ask for directions, darkened alleys and the phrase-‘’I’ve never been here before but I know exactly where we are’’. Generally Women seem to do a lot better but this is because they seem to have the entire city mapped out in relation to everything’s relative distance from the nearest Penneys. This seems to be pretty accurate as women can tell us that the city centre is precisely 0.56 miles directly southwest from Penneys.
A big mistake is giving vague directions, my favourite one being-‘’ keep going and it’s just down the road’’, which roughly translates to anything in a three mile radius. But what about GPS you say, our directional breakthrough. I mean, sure, your GPS seems great and confident but in actual fact this detestable device is just bringing you to the middle of nowhere so it can no longer receive satellite signal and leave you in the middle of nowhere, utterly lost. Now the two most important things to remember are: Saying the destination is next to a tree or farm doesn’t exactly help you out when you live in Ireland and (as the man who drove his car into the wall of a McDonald’s because the sign said ‘Drive-through’ will tell you) people tend to take signs and directions literally. N.L