When she was younger, I can only imagine the powerlessness Sinead must have felt. She was depending constantly on others and that only increased her embarrassment and self-consciousness. She says "I avoided catching sight of myself in shop windows. Crossing a dance floor or a hall or any room bustling with happy, oblivious people, I slunk along the walls." She says she was ashamed of her bones and her scars and that she was mortified when asked to remove clothing for medical exams.
And while not many of us are diagnosed with arthritis at the age of 13, we can all to some extent, relate to the self-consciousness she felt. This is the age when we start to worry about not only how we look but also how we act, who we hang around with, how we treat our peers, our results in school and all the other social standards we are expected to live up to. There is always the need for more. To be more, to have more, to do more. We are never just content as we are. And while, of course there is nothing wrong with striving to do well or wanting to impress and come across as your best self, one must have balance. You must learn to accept yourself and appreciate yourself and love yourself no matter what anyone else says.
Just like Sinead Gleeson had to come to terms with her body and eventually become comfortable in it, we all too have to learn to accept ourselves as we are and learn to love ourselves.
And trust me, I believe you when you say that is easier said than done. In society today self-love is something that is almost punished with people being accused of being stuck-up or conceited or cocky or vain. The world isn't going to change overnight. People are still going to judge you. People are still going to question your looks or your actions or your words.
But you don't need the whole world to love you to be happy.
You just need to love yourself.
- A.L.