-CN
In the end, we were the oldest we’d ever been, the biggest, most developed versions of ourselves at that time. When we left primary school, we had a new space in which to learn not just academia but (and I’m giving myself full nostalgia- induced reign of cheese and cliché here) ourselves. When I came to this school, I carried a lot of old experiences with me and I let them shape how I acted. I was under the impression they were making me a better person but I slowly unlearned them, with the help of friends that I made here and the lessons we were taught and I’m happier for it. I’m glad that I’ve grown, that I’m a changed person to who I was, and maybe someday I’ll look back at who I am now and feel just as cringe about this me as I do now about 1st year me. Which is normal. People change. We grow up. Especially during the time that we’re on the verge of completing now. Though I've recently been thinking, what if there are younger versions of ourselves still inside us, judging everything we do? I really like that idea. The idea that, even though I like who I am now, I’ll never really lose that silly, ignorant girl that I was before I came to be here. I want the younger me, the not quite ‘me’ me, to see who I am now, after these six years and to think “That’s where I want to be.” That if she were given the choice, she would still choose to do it all again. We don’t fully know where we’re going from here, but we have the foundations of who we are and who we will be now. I think that (with some tears and fear but also acceptance) we’re about as ready to leave as we’ll ever be. So we’ve just got to make the most of our last days here. For our younger selves, for our older selves (who’ll look back at us) and most importantly for the people we’ve managed to become. We should cherish these days- and not let the pressure of exams wreck them- because it’s the youngest we’ll ever be again in the end.
-CN
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