This is all a lie.
OH PLEASE! If i had a euro for every time I heard that, I wouldn't have to be here! I'd be living like Kim K 2.0.... Except like, the crappy pound-shop version of Kim Kardashian... With the hairstyle of a 12 year old boy and a lot less booty.
Okay, yeah, so maybe I'll miss a few things. There's friendships I've made, which realistically, probably won't last past the first year in college, and that's not too fun to think about. But school isn't for everyone, and that's okay! It's okay to not enjoy school. I'm not an academic person and I never have been, and I'm fine with that. So shh. Stop it. Go annoy someone else with your nostalgia-fueled self-pity.
2. My Bag Is Bigger Than My Future
Remember we thought the first years were hilarious with their bags the size of Africa? Yeah, well, I’m carrying around my body weight in books and folders recently and I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have feeling in my shoulders so I think it’s safe to say that I now understand the whole concept of Karma.
Shoutout to my nanny! The reason I'm 100% failing Irish. I really needed Sraith Pictuir #1 in my oral, but Nanny 'forgot' to light a candle. I mean, come on, I got Sraith 20. Did she even try? Honestly? It's just not on, like, she had one job. There's about 48 Jesus-related candels in her house, all of which were lit for my sister who coincedently got 515 points. Clearly she's got favourites..... We're still not on speaking terms, not gunna lie.
So you need to pee more than you need oxygen at this point, and you even consider asking to go to the bathroom. But then it hits you. The flashbacks. Walking up to his desk before class, being all considerate and what not so that you don’t disturb the class later on, and politely asking if you can go to the bathroom.
Except, at that moment… you know you’ve made a mistake. You realise that no pee was worth this. But it’s too late. You’ve gotten yourself into this mess. Everyone else knows it too. You can’t take it back now. This is how it ends. You wince, as he slowly turns, smug as fu(dge), looks you dead in the eye and says…
“I don’t know.”
My expectations for myself were so high in fifth year. I was aiming for around 425 points. It was all going great. But then the mocks happened and taught me to never ever get my hopes up for anything in life ever again. Ever. I hadn’t been so ashamed of my existence since the time I tripped over my own bag infront of everyone in study and tried to play it off with the Beyoncé "Crazy In Love" walk.
That D in geography just ruined all my hopes and dreams and I’m honestly torn between Jam Making and Basket Weaving at this point but I don’t even think either of them would take me.
7. I'll Just Have To Bank On A Question About The Theme Of Blindness In King Lear
I hate this play with all my heart and can't wait to get the exam over with. I know one theme. I will never in my life know more than one theme. "I have no way, and therefore want no eyes; I stumbled when I saw" is going to be written at least eight times in every paragraph. This is as far as my knowledge of that play goes and I'm accepting the fact I should have done pass english because clearly blogging about feminism and mental health gets you nowhere.
Who is Albany? What's a Kent? Why is everyone speaking funny?
I think I've said about 4 and a half words out loud since I came to this school, and for a long time I thought that being more invisible than the third Destiny's Child member would make my life a lot easier, seen as I'm pretty horrendous in social situations. But I'm now that I'm finishing sixth year with approximately -52 achievements to my name, and still have yet to have a conversation with some people in our year, I realise that maybe I need to stop hiding away in my room listening to depressing Smiths songs all day, and instead learn that it's necessary to throw myself into uncomfortable social situations if I want to grow.
....Which I totally do, 'cause I've been 5ft 3 since sixth class.
Neither does making your 100th study plan, looking up study tips, complaining about homework or talking about that one time in fifth year where you revised the ecology questions - you can't write about counting cow parsley in your maths exam. Which sounds obvious, but honestly, with those ordinary level project maths questions, I wouldn't put it passed them. It's kind of hilarious. They're like "If Ben buys 98 bars of chocolate and eats 3.75 of them and sells the rest to Achmed the donkey breeder, what angle will the sun's rays be at on Tuesday?" Not even an exaggeration. Last week we had to work out how long it would take a fly to hop across a table.
BACK TO THE POINT! I'd have 625 points in the bag if I even spent half the time I spend whining, actually working! It's ridiculous. I take back that thing I said earlier about having no achievements - I am the procrastination queen.
10. Finally, You're Not As Incompetent At Existence As You Think
Two years ago I was fully sure that I would have dropped out by now. Genuinely. I've never dealt well with stress, and the fear and anticipation of going into sixth year was enough to make me want to quit before I even got there. Because, let's face it, Leaving Cert is made out to be the scariest, most important thing you'll ever have to do, ever. But this year, I've had to face something 100 times worse. I had no choice but to face it. I also had no choice but to learn to deal with it. And I think that's what really put things into perspective for me. I know the Leaving Cert seems like the be all and end all right now, but it's not. Obviously it's important, but it's just one significant part of your life, and there's going to be hundreds more. This is just the beginning. It's just a stepping stone. If you get 100 points - you're going to be okay. If you get 600 points - you're going to be okay. Even the hardest of situations will work out okay in the end. ♥