An even bigger question is why weren't the men churched. Men have an equal amount of blame for becoming pregnant but because he's not carrying the baby and there's no evidence unless he gets a DNA test he can walk into mass with is head held high. It's like Tuam and all those other mother and baby homes, all the records contained information about the mother and her children but where was the father? In many cases, we'll never know. Some of these men were run out by families of the girls, some didn't care enough to stay and others didn't even know. But, their lives continued. These men's lives weren't affected, weren't shamed, weren't sent away from the families to who knows where they can't be taunted and shamed by society and the Church. They got married, had children and lived out their lives without a thought of a little boy or girl who was theirs. Those little boys and girls had to go to school, do family trees, ask their mothers where was their father. Questions no mother wants to answer. And for those little boys and girls who continue to age still get asked those questions. Grandchildren come home with their own family tree, asking their grandparents questions about their history but would not be able to answer. But sometimes it's even more difficult to know these answers.
A woman met a man one day and promised her the world so she gave all herself to him. As a result, she fell pregnant. Her family found out, her brothers ran him out and he never came back. The woman became a spinster along with her sister and the two raised the little girl to be a wonderful woman. The woman met a man at 17, fell deeply in love and through many trials,including a ring thrown into a river, got married. They had six children together and were very happy. But the husband, who loved his wife very much, decided to search for her father. He found him. 20 minutes away. Not a visit, not a letter, not a phonecall. When he told his wife the news she did not want to meet the sperm donor himself. In her eyes, this man was not her father and to meet with him would be a betrayal to her mother and aunt who had raised her. So, after much persuasion, the husband and wife went and watched from a distance. The man walked with his wife, children and grandchildren not knowing on the other side of the street stood his first-born holding her own first-born in her arms. The woman never saw her father again.
EOD